6.8.10

Oh, Hi there! I guess I've sort of been neglecting you. Again, life got busy. Last weekend was both Pride Festival and the Art Centers Yearly Fund-raising Gala. I think we had fun,ish. Also Greg (boyfriend) started is week long tour across Utah, read about sad events here.


Lately I've been ponder "Marriage". To me its still really strange concept. Its like when you were a small child and people say things like someday you will like boys and be married and have kids, and you squeal at the impossible thought. I still feel like that, yes it is more plausible now but I steal think its sort of a joke. Greg and I have been dating for just a few weeks short of 3 years. I dont know that we really want to be married but we do want to live together. With our families those two thought must come with one another, and honestly I don't feel the brash risktaker in me to go through with it and receive the consequence. People are sort of surprised at our lack of interest in marriage. Within my planning mind I convinced myself that I could infact do this marriage thing maybe even soonish out of convienance. My mind was set, but now my mind has began to wander.

My initial reasons for not wanting to be married right now is the inability to share my dreams with someone else. Thats what I've decided my resistance is. Its not necessarily that I think being married will cause me not to reach my goals. Its more that I want to experience the ups and downs on my own. I'm not sure why but its sort of the way I always imagined it. Also in a relationship you are always trying to be good and fair. I want to be able to do things without the constant reminder to being good and fair, maybe I just want to be naive and take risks? I also didn't plan to meet the guy for me at age 20. How do other people do it? How do there dreams, goals and wishes translate from mine = ours? Or mine with you around.

Also how do you beat longing to be single when he's around and missing him immensely and glaring at other happy couples when he isn't around? Constant RollerCoaster.

T-shirt - Macha Machete (Made by my sister)
Shorts - Heirloom
Sandals - Industry
Necklace - Idaho!

M.E.T