3.13.10

I think of all my clothing as sort of a log and memoir of who I am. I like to fantasies that someday in the future, my grandkids will be looking through my preserved collection say things like

"Wow! Grandma was stylish back in the day!"

" WOOAH! Look at this! I've only ever read of this designer but she owns a dress by him!"

Its the same way that other people use to think of baseball cards. Every time I get something expensive I accession it to my personal museum. But I have a problem. I am just on the cusp of fitting into high end clothes. High end designers are not friendly to anything above a 4. Even if a dress states it's an 8, it usually isnt.

I watched this dress go through 2 cycles on gilt.com. Finally when the price was right, and I had $50 credit. I bought it in a size up, just in case. When it arrived I threw it on. High end brands usually make bigger sizes by adding material to the sides, but not taking in count that larger women have different proportions. This dress is tight on the waist but the biggest issue is my chest.

The Alexander McQueen dress is the same way. The belt it came with fits better as a headband than an actual belt. It will zip to a point but my breasts are really when it says NO. To me it never makes sense why women want bigger breasts. Ive had somewhat larger breasts since I had any at all. To me its sort of a burden. I always say my dress size is an 8, my breast size is a 12. I love brands like Chloe, Alexander McQueen, Wunderkind & Viktor&Rolf but the truth is that even when I have the money to afford it, will it fit?

I've been trying to lose alittle weight lately because clothes really is important to me. But also I think I would be healthy and more comfortable with myself. Im going to see if I can find a counter to put on top so you can see my progress. To half the world Im on the cusp of fat and to the other half Im perfect the way I am. I just want to be perfect to myself.

M.E.T